i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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