May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
