I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
