I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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