Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
