what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
