Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
