You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
