too bad you live with your parents still
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
