eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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