they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
