So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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