i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
