Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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