I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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