my sisters under your porch take her home
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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