Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sarcasm needs its own font
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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