Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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