well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
