I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
