I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am mentally ready for anal.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
