Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
