he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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