mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
