Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
