giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
