I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
