Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
