I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
