I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
