Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's the barista slut.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
