But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
