i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
