So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
