I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
