never play flip cup with pint glasses
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
