a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
