sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
