I love black thongs
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God, I missed his penis.
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