Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
