D3 body, D1 cock
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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