He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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