wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
