she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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