I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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