So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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