Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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