There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
