As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
