It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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