Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
